Corkscrew

A gathering, and there were a few financial types. I think we know what they're like: urbane, sophisticated, smarmy.

Was struggling to open a bottle, and didn't sink the corkscrew personally. I think they knew I had 2 cans of beer in my belly by then. ("Better stick to the beer now huh?") After struggling with the corkscrew and enduring their sniggers for a while I gave the bottle to one of them who also gave an impromptu lecture about how "a wine bottle is like a woman, you got to handle it the right way " etc etc etc... got to kiss it before you open it. I thought that was cute.

But what I learnt from him was how to hold it firmly so that the screw wouldn't slip, so I fired back, "yeh, but what I learnt from watching you is that you got to hold her down while screwing her." Nervous laughter all round.

Edit: RIP Ah Meng.