Relationships

http://tofreedomwithlove.blogspot.com

Well well well look at what we find when we’re snooping around on facebook. A former colleague putting up their blog for public consumption – only going to spell the URL because I dowan to link my blog to his blog. Last time Nat unwisely chose to link to my blog and he got outed. (OK maybe not unwisely because it doesn’t matter to him but still…)

On a (*cough cough* unrelated) note, I’m going to talk about what little I know about dealing with women.

What I want in a girl:
1. Intelligence.
2. Not lazy
3. Artistic

Notice that I didn’t mention physical attractiveness. It is not necessary. Any girl who is good enough in these 3 points, and is not physically deformed would be good enough. Remember what people say about “there aren’t any ugly women, only lazy women?” That’s what I mean.

4. Gets along well with girls.

Now this is important. There are a some women out there, especially the chiobus, who always claim they get along better with the guys. This is a red flag. Once somebody admits that, well you should count them out as your girlfriend. These women are trouble. Reason number 1: the main reason why they say they get along better with men than women is because men will give them a wider berth. Men think that they’re cute, and let them get away with a lot of bullshit. Women tend to hold other women to reasonable standards. Reason number 2: these women tend to have a lot of guy friends and it’s too easy for them to replace you. There is a natural mechanism which prevents your woman from having her way with other guys. Women tend to see such women as immoral and at the very least, there will be that “tut tut” of disapproval. Guys will also have that “tut tut” but it will be conflated with the natural thought “maybe I could get a piece of that ass for myself”.

The barometer for reasonable behaviour in a woman is other women.

5. Kindness.

I look at the women I’ve had crushes on (not many I can tell you, I can count them on 2 hands, maybe even 1) and for some reason they don’t really have much in common with each other.

OK, the basics for a relationship.

1. Is there a one and only girl who is the right one for you?

No. There are thousands, even millions of women out there with the right stuff. But you will only need one, and she will only be a right one for you after you’ve gotten to know each other well enough. This is one of the most common questions teenagers ask about relationships and the sooner this is answered, the better.

2. Why can’t women understand me, and see past the surface and get to the real me?

There are usually 2 reasons why women aren’t going to like the real you. First is that you are not expressing yourself well. It is possible to fix this: it is neither easy or hard. Second is that there is something wrong with the real you. Fixing this is hard. But it is worth it.

Another thing that could go wrong is that you may be looking for the wrong kind of women. Don’t go for women who are “out of your league”. A lot of the time, they aren’t worth it. Sensible people can get through life without being drop dead gorgeous. And conversely, if you are drop dead gorgeous, people will want to be with you for all the wrong reasons. If you’re not strong enough to deal with it then too bad for you. Being drop dead gorgeous is like a mild version of being famous. Everybody wants a piece of you.

3. What do women look for in a man?

I don’t know. I can’t answer that. But my guess is: strength, beauty and compatibility.

Physical strength is attractive for obvious reasons. Mental strength, more so. Women want a guy who takes care of her. There is power, which manifests itself as a more active form of strength. But there is also the inner strength, the tensile strengh, how to become calm when a storm is raging all around you, how you handle matters properly. How to not read some remarks wrongly and get upset when

Beauty - that would be aesthetics. The things that you do that appeal to her aesthetically. She might want you for a handsome face, or a sexy body. Or you're just very good at hitting her right spot. Or all sorts of irrational things that she might like in you, like the way that you walk, or your dress sense.

Compatibility is actually the beauty of the couple rather than the beauty of your individual self. You might be on the same wavelength, and she might just be a female version of you. Or you might be total opposites, and you just make up for what's lacking in each other. Your partnership may be a Vieira and Petit, or a Cole and Yorke.

But all that is theory. Practice is another thing.