Doctors

Was meeting up with some doctor friends I hadn’t met in a long time. Some of the stories they told were great.

Doctors. Addicts going up to them to plead for more cough mixture, and giving all sorts of stupid excuses. And they said that sometimes they punish stupidity, where they are less unwilling to give it to somebody who tells them a good story.

Then there was this weirdo who thought that a special (but expensive) kind of multivitamin pills was going to boost his libido. In fact, as he was describing this to the doctor, he flexed his arm in a show of masculine exuberance. He was on full medical subsidy (he was that poor) and the doctor refused to give the pills to him because there was no medical basis for it. He got hysterical and banged the table and screamed, “this is my only chance - my last chance!!!”.

There was this 40 something year old guy who looked like a cheeko pek. He turned up at the A+E department with this terribly embarrassing problem. He had tried to get a good erection, and pushed a metal ring around the base of his penis. This is not unusual, there is such a thing as the arab strap. Unfortunately he had popped a few viagra pills. So his dick swelled to the extent that not only that intercourse became painful, but the ring was stuck. Panicking, he tried to remove the ring, but not only was it stuck fast, but the harder he tried, the more it was stuck, the more the skin was raw and inflamed. The only way was to go to the A+E.

What made the situation worse was that the 2 urologists on duty at that time were both female. It was terrible. The lubricants didn’t work, so they had to inject a needle into his penis and try to draw out some blood. When his dick was small enough, I supposed he had learnt his painful lesson.

Then there was this guy who ejaculated blood after having some form of rupture. Not merely being content with talking about his problems, he took his digital camera and showed the pictoral representation to the doctor. The doctor was like, goddamn. These are occupational hazards, and of course was thorougly disgusted.

One interesting thing is that American companies don’t require you to have an MC for sick leave. The reason is that in America, doctors and consultation is expensive, so you only go to doctors for serious enough things. And adults shouldn’t have to have a doctor decide if or not they are well enough to work. I thought that was interesting. I’ve gone to the doctor before when I’ve been sick, but it was mainly to get an MC, because otherwise I could just go get medicine and cure myself.

Well I marvel that such a system can work, and still in the US they have a reputation for being hard workers. I think what it is is that over there they have a fairly religious attitude towards work. Like in Singapore, you work hard because you think it is moral, to some degree, and you also want to earn a lot of money to support your family. In the US, where they are more individualistic, it is more the former than the latter, and they almost have this religious attitude towards work where if you're lazy, you're sinful, simple as that. Or maybe they have some method of making people terribly afraid of screwing the system, well I dunno.

Seems pretty interesting to be a doctor. Too bad I haven't go the talent for it.