Loser carpark behaviour

I'm sure that every one of you has heard this story before, but this is probably the first time you're hearing it from me.

I was in a parking lot at my town centre, and at that point in time there were fewer lots than cars, so a few cars were lounging around, waiting for people to come out. Suddenly there were 2 cars coming out of their lots. I thought, "great! Plenty of lots for everyone" so I just took my position, put on my indicator, and then found myself reversing into a lot, when suddenly somebody else's car came into my rear view mirror. I hadn't realised what it was all about so I just waited for him to pass, and when after a while he didn't go, I wound down the rear window, and he said to me, "I've been waiting longer than you have. This lot is mine." I was like, what the fuck man what a fucking loser.

I thought there's no point wasting time with the standoff, so I drove to 1 side and allowed him to reverse park the car. After he was done, and had left the car, I drove mine in front of his to block his way out. I reasoned: I was going to only need 5 minutes, and if he was going to cut me for 5 minutes' parking, he's going to deserve whatever grief he's getting out of that.

It was actually 10 minutes because I made a detour to the toiletries shop. I had been toying with thoughts of spraying "ASSHOLE" on his windscreen (shaving cream, not spray paint, because I'm a nice guy.) and I can tell you that a can costs $5 from the nearby toiletries shop, but in the end I thought I'd better go back and see what the situation is.

I was very surprised to find that the lot he occupied was empty. How did he get out around my car? He probably pushed it out of the way or something. Guess my handbrakes aren't very powerful.

Next time I will have this comeback line: "If you don't get out of my fucking way right now I'm going to post your a picture of your face and a picture of your car on the internet so that everybody can see what a loser you are."