Like I said on one of my previous posts, whereas 2008 was the year of the end of long roads, 2009 for me was going to a year I would get off my ass and seek a new life. To what extent have I been successful?
Computer science: the plan was to plough through all my CS textbooks so as to have the same amount of knowledge that a CS undergraduate would have. So far it looks like I won’t get it all done any time soon. I’m half way through compilers, and I’m trying to cram in the most salient concepts of operating systems. Operating systems is easier because there are fewer basics, fewer ideas, and the rest is application. Got through some systems analysis.
Financial planning: I had a few meetings with the fiancé of a long lost friend, who somehow convinced me that I was a potential customer. 3 sessions later, I told her no thanks, and I dunno if she was pissed off at me.
Later on, a friend of mine approached me with a business proposition that was as lucrative as it was shady. I thought about it for a while, thought I would play a small, bit part. It didn’t work out. His old business partner sabotaged his business plan. In the end, he left and joined an insurance policy. He became the second person to (unsuccessfully) sell me a policy this year.
A new job: I took on a new function at my workplace midway through the year, one that’s closer to the front. I’m sick and tired of doing the same old shit which may not have meaning to the larger scheme of things. So far it’s not been a disaster although a lot could have been better. I’m learning and mastering stuff I should have mastered a long time ago. Things are a little more stressful.
Romance: Some of you may recall that the fiancé of my long lost friend had set me up with a friend of hers. It was a disaster that didn’t work at all. Much later in the year, I had a few dates with teapot. Unfortunately it didn’t work out. But I did think that I should go out hunting. Now’s a good time, there won’t be a better time than now.
I have to figure out what's wrong. One complaint I'm getting is that I'm boring. This is true, especially for people who are not on the same wavelength as me.
Music: It was all right. I wrote a few songs that I was quite satisfied with. Some of my compositions are on midi now, but MIDI is a shitty medium. I have the arrangements in my head, some idea of what it’s supposed to sound like, but my demos sound like crap. But at least I have fleshed out all the ideas, written down all the notes. In theory I just have to find the right sounds to match all my stuff.
I've had a few tryouts. I did think that I was quite psyched after that, but a lot of it's not my work. I think there's still some more work to be done before I start advertising myself as a "keyboardist". Still, I'm glad that I actually went to find some people to jam with.
Johor: I’m helping my computer illiterate father with some of his paperwork, but most of the time he does his own thing. He’s an incredibly hard worker. I don’t know why I have such a hardworking father, and such a hardworking sister, but myself, I’m such a passive person.
I’ve also gone on some trips to Malaysia to explore the place, and occasionally help with some shopping. My father and I planted 2 trees, and 1 of them died although the other is still alive. He’s always wanted to teach me how to manage a property and I still have to learn.
Housework: Other than some half-hearted attempts to follow my parents to the wet market on Saturday mornings, I haven’t been able to make much progress on this.
Is this why I’m always feeling tired these days? But I’ve hardly begun to live my life. I’m only doing stuff that I should have started doing 5 years ago. Well 5 years is not a very long time anyway.
Health-wise, things have not been very good. My family members used to marvel at my ability to skip meals and not get gastric problems. Later on, I've realised why this is so: I don't stress myself. I've been living such a horizontal life for so long that I never had any stress. This year, the first time in a long time I've seriously considered my future, is also a year I've had more problems with my stomach than any of the preceding years.
And let's not talk about a really crappy December where I've been laid low by flu and it's taken forever for me to get better. At a time when I was clearing leave and supposed to have some fun times, I'm sick.
I noticed that I have changed my life a lot in the last 2 years that ended with zero. 1990 was the end of the childhood and the beginning of the troubled teenage years (although it should never have been as troubled as it was). 2000 was the first year after I glimpsed at a lot of possibilities that opened up for me in 1999 - although being a big bookworm was the main possibility that was opened up. I'm also due for a big change now. Some of these changes have been for the better, but many have not.
For the last few years, I had been content to bury myself in a lot of books as well as the occasional long distance run. Gone are the days when I can say that a weekend has been meaningful just because I managed a 20 km run (and I doubt I'm going to run such distances anytime soon.) Gone are the days when I would treat 1-2 hour bus rides as an OK thing because I can always read some more, when I would shake legs at a cafe for hours and a book. There was a time, when I thought, give me the warm glow of lights above, a book, and a cup of coffee / tea before me, and I will always be content. I would be reading investor reports, and figure out how to be much richer than I am today. I would be reading computer science and magically become an uber geek. How was I to know that I'd be bored of that within 6 months? It used to be, if I had nothing better to do (and when have I had anything better to do?), I would just pick up a book, and read and read. But now I'll practice not picking up a book for once, and see whether things will take place.
In fact the last few days have felt like what it was like in college, when I just spent hours alternating between useful activity, and fretting about time passing by and getting older. (I was not a bookworm in college - I budgeted my brain power strictly for the stuff I had to read, because it consumed so much mental energy.) Being alone in a dank, dark house, going to bed at 4 in the morning and rising at 9 (afternoon naps have become necessary.)
I will probably not have a mid-life crisis. Mid-life crises are for people who have accomplished what they want in their 20s and 30s, then have nothing else left for them in their 40s. It looks like I’ll be busy for some time.
Showing posts with label general. Show all posts
Showing posts with label general. Show all posts
Saturday, 30 January 2010
Saturday, 16 January 2010
Cubicles
I’ve sat in 2 different cubicles. I don’t believe in Fengshui, but I believe that your cubicle influences your fate. Actually I sat in a 3rd cubicle for a few weeks before I was kicked out by some other guy who had to expand his office, and what do you know, he himself eventually got kicked out of his office too.
The fate of the first cubicle that I sat in is that they are not suited for work at my company. The first person who sat in that seat left before long. I languished in that cubicle for 3 years before earning the right to move out. Honest face took over my seat that the cubicle, and he did well in his job. But he left the company before he could get rotated. Then a 3rd guy went there, got rotated, but he got in over his head, so he came back.
What I believe is that the fate of my second cubicle is this: people who move on from this cubicle will move into better things. That cubicle was occupied by people whose intelligence and drive I respect. So I’m glad to be amongst their number. One of them is now a professor, and the other two are managers. This is wishful thinking, that I’ll do well if and when I leave my company, I suppose.
The cubicle that was occupied by ghost - . The first one there was Water tap, who you know is doing pretty well right now in another department. The second one was another guy who went to another department and also did well. Then there was ghost, and I can’t tell how well he did in that other department because he didn’t stay long. And now, it is occupied by somebody who’s actually in that other department – call him solar power.
(btw I was in solar power’s cubicle the other day, and on the white board, were written 2 large words. “Listen. Understand.” Those are very wise words. I have always felt that the other department people (yes I’m using “other department” as a code word and you should know the meaning of that code word by now) have a kind of wisdom, a keen grasp and understanding of how things are going to work in real life. Some abilities I wish my own bosses had.)
I was thinking about the people who sat in Shingot’s cubicle. The first one moved out soon, and shingot took his place. Then shingot had a long stay in that cubicle, and now he’s replaced by somebody else. Not sure what these 3 people have in common, but I think they do work that is well regarded in the company.
Nat’s old cubicle, the one where he stayed for the longest time – I can’t tell what that cubicle means, since the last one who occupied his cubicle was somebody who was a rising star until an unfortunate incident curtailed his rise. Then he had to leave the company and he prospered outside.
His new cubicle was unoccupied for a long time, but the only other person who used that one on a permanent basis was a chick who left the company for a lucrative job.
Anyway, that other day I was doing a tarot reading on various things. So I decided to do a tarot reading about my current work. It was sufficiently accurate that I’m including it here (although some parts are wrong.) I especially like the chariot part – success through hard work.
The card not shown but at the center of the cross, represents the atmosphere surrounding the central issue. Four of Swords, when reversed.
The card visible at the center of the cross represents the obstacle that stands in your way - it may even be something that sounds good but is not actually to your benefit. The Tower
The card at the top of the cross represents your goal, or the best you can achieve without a dramatic change of priorities. The Chariot.
The card at the bottom of the cross represents the foundation on which the situation is based. The Moon.
The card at the left of the cross represents a passing influence or something to be released. Two of Wands, when reversed.
The card at the right of the cross represents an approaching influence or something to be embraced. Seven of Swords .
The card at the base of the staff represents your role or attitude. Queen of Cups.
The card second from the bottom of the staff represents your environment and the people you are interacting with. Knight of Swords, when reversed.
The card second from the top of the staff represents your hopes, fears, or an unexpected element that will come into play. Five of Swords.
The card at the top of the staff represents the ultimate outcome should you continue on this course. Five of Cups .
The fate of the first cubicle that I sat in is that they are not suited for work at my company. The first person who sat in that seat left before long. I languished in that cubicle for 3 years before earning the right to move out. Honest face took over my seat that the cubicle, and he did well in his job. But he left the company before he could get rotated. Then a 3rd guy went there, got rotated, but he got in over his head, so he came back.
What I believe is that the fate of my second cubicle is this: people who move on from this cubicle will move into better things. That cubicle was occupied by people whose intelligence and drive I respect. So I’m glad to be amongst their number. One of them is now a professor, and the other two are managers. This is wishful thinking, that I’ll do well if and when I leave my company, I suppose.
The cubicle that was occupied by ghost - . The first one there was Water tap, who you know is doing pretty well right now in another department. The second one was another guy who went to another department and also did well. Then there was ghost, and I can’t tell how well he did in that other department because he didn’t stay long. And now, it is occupied by somebody who’s actually in that other department – call him solar power.
(btw I was in solar power’s cubicle the other day, and on the white board, were written 2 large words. “Listen. Understand.” Those are very wise words. I have always felt that the other department people (yes I’m using “other department” as a code word and you should know the meaning of that code word by now) have a kind of wisdom, a keen grasp and understanding of how things are going to work in real life. Some abilities I wish my own bosses had.)
I was thinking about the people who sat in Shingot’s cubicle. The first one moved out soon, and shingot took his place. Then shingot had a long stay in that cubicle, and now he’s replaced by somebody else. Not sure what these 3 people have in common, but I think they do work that is well regarded in the company.
Nat’s old cubicle, the one where he stayed for the longest time – I can’t tell what that cubicle means, since the last one who occupied his cubicle was somebody who was a rising star until an unfortunate incident curtailed his rise. Then he had to leave the company and he prospered outside.
His new cubicle was unoccupied for a long time, but the only other person who used that one on a permanent basis was a chick who left the company for a lucrative job.
Anyway, that other day I was doing a tarot reading on various things. So I decided to do a tarot reading about my current work. It was sufficiently accurate that I’m including it here (although some parts are wrong.) I especially like the chariot part – success through hard work.
The card not shown but at the center of the cross, represents the atmosphere surrounding the central issue. Four of Swords, when reversed.
The card visible at the center of the cross represents the obstacle that stands in your way - it may even be something that sounds good but is not actually to your benefit. The Tower
The card at the top of the cross represents your goal, or the best you can achieve without a dramatic change of priorities. The Chariot.
The card at the bottom of the cross represents the foundation on which the situation is based. The Moon.
The card at the left of the cross represents a passing influence or something to be released. Two of Wands, when reversed.
The card at the right of the cross represents an approaching influence or something to be embraced. Seven of Swords .
The card at the base of the staff represents your role or attitude. Queen of Cups.
The card second from the bottom of the staff represents your environment and the people you are interacting with. Knight of Swords, when reversed.
The card second from the top of the staff represents your hopes, fears, or an unexpected element that will come into play. Five of Swords.
The card at the top of the staff represents the ultimate outcome should you continue on this course. Five of Cups .
Saturday, 24 October 2009
Number Nine Dream
When you're in your twenties you're being an adult for the first time, and you have to realign your priorities in life. Almost without exception, I hear a lot of final year uni students remark, "oh my God, I've just taken my last exam." What's so amazing about taking your last exam? It is that from the moment that the person enters school as a 5,6 year old, his life would have been centred around exams. It is not that difficult for him to name his reason for living: it is the exam. But when you rip that centre out of his life, a major reorientation is needed.
I once told myself, you have enough dreams to last your whole life. That is true. But what becomes of those dreams? There are plenty of instances in my life where I've been lost and headed down blind alleys. Let's look at some of those dreams.
Musician
It would not have occurred to me when I was a kid, my parents breathing down my neck to make me put in that one hour a day. I hated practicing. I wonder why people never seem to realise that people hate practicing piano. It's bad enough to hate practicing, and when you know that you aren't good with your hands, and all that practicing is futile, it's even worse. I still cringe a little when ppl come up to coach me on something that needs hand eye co-ordination (basketball for instance).
That being said, I think I have a good shot at being a composer. Except that writing stuff alone is not going to get you very far. You still need the big logistical problem of having things performed. For a few years I stopped composing because there was no way of writing things down. Then last year I started writing things down, and after that I wrote some more stuff that I'm happy with, but it's dried up a little recently. Anyway the writing part is OK. It's the translating all that stuff into music that's the problem now.
Academic
It's hardly the case that I became really interested in knowledge only when I got to the Uni. But I suppose at that time the educational system is hardly inspiring. Singapore educational system is second to none for drilling the basic facts into peoples' heads, and even the angmohs admire that. But above that and beyond, it only really gets interesting when you get to the uni. And even if I were inspired by knowledge while in Sec School and JC, it's for those ideas that you get to learn about in the uni.
And I think that it's like building a house. The part all the way up till JC is when you are pounding in the foundations and building the pillars. It doesn't look like anything is being done, even though it's a lot of hard work. It's dreary and boring. And uni is when you bring in all the prefab stuff and fit it on, and suddenly, magically, the house appears.
I would go into a field which is intricate and complex. I thought about artificial intelligence for a while. I think I would go into a field which involves a lot of complexity, and it is not difficult to find one. The big problem with academic stuff is that when you get the main idea, and that is usually early on, it's a lot of fun. But after that it is the long hard slog and the project takes forever.
Books
People have this image of my being a bookworm, even though I've had to explain to them that I've only been one for 10 years. OK, 10 years is a long time but I was more likely to listen to Jimi Hendrix / REM / Sonic Youth all day when I was back in JC.
This was probably related to the previous dream, of being an academic. I thought I'd better start reading everything I could lay my hands on, just in case I ever got the chance to be an academic one day. But now my house is stocked up with too many useless books and I set a target last year to clear 2 shelves of books by reading and selling them away. I have read through more than 1 shelf already.
Marathoner
This was something really accidental. Just that at some point in my life I got to know 5 people who have done marathons. So I signed up for a marathon at the end of 2008. It's very tiring to practice but it's too late to stop now. Anyway I finished it. Although "finish" is rather flattering to me. Towards the end when I was in an army of stragglers, I thought, "this is what it must have been like when Napoleon was retreating from Russia".
Playwright
I wanted to be a playwright in school. But I think I blogged about this before so I won't bore you with the details. Anyway bottom line is that I've taken this as far as it can go so I'm OK with this.
Career
Nothing much here. At one point my thinking was, "everybody thinks that this is important, so it has to be important." It wasn't easy at first. I'm still getting by. Maybe for now I will just have a job, get by and at the same time work on my other dreams. Until such a time when I stumble upon something that is compelling enough that it becomes another one of my dreams.
Pussy
The one time that I have been in love, something strange happened. Everything gets imbued with a whole new meaning, although if you were to press me about it now, I'm not sure I can explain what this "new meaning" is. Whereas I was a more easy going person before that, I just got more forceful over certain things. When am I next going to get somebody? Well I used to think, make more of your own dreams come true, and this problem will fix itself. And it used to be that impressing women would be a great incentive to work at those things. Little by little, though, it stopped being important, and now when I wake up in the morning, I know that I will measure how useful a day has been according to these other things outlined above.
I once told myself, you have enough dreams to last your whole life. That is true. But what becomes of those dreams? There are plenty of instances in my life where I've been lost and headed down blind alleys. Let's look at some of those dreams.
Musician
It would not have occurred to me when I was a kid, my parents breathing down my neck to make me put in that one hour a day. I hated practicing. I wonder why people never seem to realise that people hate practicing piano. It's bad enough to hate practicing, and when you know that you aren't good with your hands, and all that practicing is futile, it's even worse. I still cringe a little when ppl come up to coach me on something that needs hand eye co-ordination (basketball for instance).
That being said, I think I have a good shot at being a composer. Except that writing stuff alone is not going to get you very far. You still need the big logistical problem of having things performed. For a few years I stopped composing because there was no way of writing things down. Then last year I started writing things down, and after that I wrote some more stuff that I'm happy with, but it's dried up a little recently. Anyway the writing part is OK. It's the translating all that stuff into music that's the problem now.
Academic
It's hardly the case that I became really interested in knowledge only when I got to the Uni. But I suppose at that time the educational system is hardly inspiring. Singapore educational system is second to none for drilling the basic facts into peoples' heads, and even the angmohs admire that. But above that and beyond, it only really gets interesting when you get to the uni. And even if I were inspired by knowledge while in Sec School and JC, it's for those ideas that you get to learn about in the uni.
And I think that it's like building a house. The part all the way up till JC is when you are pounding in the foundations and building the pillars. It doesn't look like anything is being done, even though it's a lot of hard work. It's dreary and boring. And uni is when you bring in all the prefab stuff and fit it on, and suddenly, magically, the house appears.
I would go into a field which is intricate and complex. I thought about artificial intelligence for a while. I think I would go into a field which involves a lot of complexity, and it is not difficult to find one. The big problem with academic stuff is that when you get the main idea, and that is usually early on, it's a lot of fun. But after that it is the long hard slog and the project takes forever.
Books
People have this image of my being a bookworm, even though I've had to explain to them that I've only been one for 10 years. OK, 10 years is a long time but I was more likely to listen to Jimi Hendrix / REM / Sonic Youth all day when I was back in JC.
This was probably related to the previous dream, of being an academic. I thought I'd better start reading everything I could lay my hands on, just in case I ever got the chance to be an academic one day. But now my house is stocked up with too many useless books and I set a target last year to clear 2 shelves of books by reading and selling them away. I have read through more than 1 shelf already.
Marathoner
This was something really accidental. Just that at some point in my life I got to know 5 people who have done marathons. So I signed up for a marathon at the end of 2008. It's very tiring to practice but it's too late to stop now. Anyway I finished it. Although "finish" is rather flattering to me. Towards the end when I was in an army of stragglers, I thought, "this is what it must have been like when Napoleon was retreating from Russia".
Playwright
I wanted to be a playwright in school. But I think I blogged about this before so I won't bore you with the details. Anyway bottom line is that I've taken this as far as it can go so I'm OK with this.
Career
Nothing much here. At one point my thinking was, "everybody thinks that this is important, so it has to be important." It wasn't easy at first. I'm still getting by. Maybe for now I will just have a job, get by and at the same time work on my other dreams. Until such a time when I stumble upon something that is compelling enough that it becomes another one of my dreams.
Pussy
The one time that I have been in love, something strange happened. Everything gets imbued with a whole new meaning, although if you were to press me about it now, I'm not sure I can explain what this "new meaning" is. Whereas I was a more easy going person before that, I just got more forceful over certain things. When am I next going to get somebody? Well I used to think, make more of your own dreams come true, and this problem will fix itself. And it used to be that impressing women would be a great incentive to work at those things. Little by little, though, it stopped being important, and now when I wake up in the morning, I know that I will measure how useful a day has been according to these other things outlined above.
Saturday, 22 November 2008
Who Am I tag
"Who are you? What's your name? Super Brother!"
- Guitar Vader
I am idle enough to respond to a tag.
A. Attached or single?
Single
B. Best friend?
“For the music is your special friend
Dance on fire as it intends
Music is your only friend
Until the end” – Jim Morrison
C. Cake or pie?
Cake. I don’t like syrup.
D. Day of choice?
Every day is your day of choice except the day that you die, and even that is negotiable.
E. Essential item?
A book. The two most important things are your education, and the eradication of cockroaches.
F. Favorite color?
Green. Or gray. I love not seeing the sky so it doesn’t matter if my view is blocked by trees or clouds.
G. Gummy bears or worms?
Gummy bears
H. Hometown?
Singapore.
I. Favorite indulgence?
Masturbation. If you didn’t want to know you didn’t have to ask.
J. January or July?
January. My birthday is in January
K. Kids?
Making kids. Yeah baby.
L. Life isn’t complete without?
Life is never complete. Thank your lucky stars you can wake up in the morning and still find something to do.
M. Marriage date?
Unknown.
N. Number of magazine subscription:
Some of my regular reads: Economist, Guardian, Independent, New York Times. I used to read Rolling Stone, Mojo, Q, NME at bookstores. I like New Yorker, Atlantic Monthly, Foreign Affairs for history stuff. Scientific American for science. Playeur and FHM for porn. But no magazine subscriptions because I like free material.
(nb: if you have to admit being a porn freak it is better to bury it under a whole pile of other magazines.)
O. Oranges or apples?
Apples. They make you burp and feel manly about yourself afterwards.
P. Phobias?
Used hypodermic needles
Q. Quotes?
I’m the man
R. Reasons to smile?
I’m the man
S. Season of choice?
Winter. My zodiac sign is associated with winter. Plus I used to have 4-5 months of it so you might as well like it.
T. Tag 5 people.
See my reply to “B”
U. Unknown fact about me?
I am a musical genius
V. Vegetable?
Primarily vegetarian: veggie bee hoon good. Yong Tao Hoo OK. Double boiled soup so-so. Steak bad.
W. Worst habit?
Watching TV / surfing / reading / using the bathroom / fixing the computer while having dinner
X. X-ray or ultrasound?
When you say ultrasound I think about Sir Alex Ferguson giving me the hairdryer treatment. Therefore X ray.
Y. Your favorite foods?
Eat to live not live to eat.
Z. Zodiac sign?
Half goat half fish.
- Guitar Vader
I am idle enough to respond to a tag.
A. Attached or single?
Single
B. Best friend?
“For the music is your special friend
Dance on fire as it intends
Music is your only friend
Until the end” – Jim Morrison
C. Cake or pie?
Cake. I don’t like syrup.
D. Day of choice?
Every day is your day of choice except the day that you die, and even that is negotiable.
E. Essential item?
A book. The two most important things are your education, and the eradication of cockroaches.
F. Favorite color?
Green. Or gray. I love not seeing the sky so it doesn’t matter if my view is blocked by trees or clouds.
G. Gummy bears or worms?
Gummy bears
H. Hometown?
Singapore.
I. Favorite indulgence?
Masturbation. If you didn’t want to know you didn’t have to ask.
J. January or July?
January. My birthday is in January
K. Kids?
Making kids. Yeah baby.
L. Life isn’t complete without?
Life is never complete. Thank your lucky stars you can wake up in the morning and still find something to do.
M. Marriage date?
Unknown.
N. Number of magazine subscription:
Some of my regular reads: Economist, Guardian, Independent, New York Times. I used to read Rolling Stone, Mojo, Q, NME at bookstores. I like New Yorker, Atlantic Monthly, Foreign Affairs for history stuff. Scientific American for science. Playeur and FHM for porn. But no magazine subscriptions because I like free material.
(nb: if you have to admit being a porn freak it is better to bury it under a whole pile of other magazines.)
O. Oranges or apples?
Apples. They make you burp and feel manly about yourself afterwards.
P. Phobias?
Used hypodermic needles
Q. Quotes?
I’m the man
R. Reasons to smile?
I’m the man
S. Season of choice?
Winter. My zodiac sign is associated with winter. Plus I used to have 4-5 months of it so you might as well like it.
T. Tag 5 people.
See my reply to “B”
U. Unknown fact about me?
I am a musical genius
V. Vegetable?
Primarily vegetarian: veggie bee hoon good. Yong Tao Hoo OK. Double boiled soup so-so. Steak bad.
W. Worst habit?
Watching TV / surfing / reading / using the bathroom / fixing the computer while having dinner
X. X-ray or ultrasound?
When you say ultrasound I think about Sir Alex Ferguson giving me the hairdryer treatment. Therefore X ray.
Y. Your favorite foods?
Eat to live not live to eat.
Z. Zodiac sign?
Half goat half fish.
Sunday, 27 April 2008
Expiry date
I think that "Chungking Express" and "Fallen Angels" by Wong Kar Wai were both filmed around the same time, so I can't remember which is which. I think both of them are quite quirky, and while "Chungking Express" is the more famous sibling, "Fallen Angels" is the more moody and haunting film.
But the point is that in one of these films the narrator begins by muttering darkly that every relationship has its expiry date, and once it is reached, it's best to part. It is a sentiment I remember being expressed in "Annie Hall" where Woody Allen says that a relationship is like a shark - being heavier than water, it has to keep on swimming or else it will sink.
I've seen relationships ended like this. Maybe relationships are like bit torrent, you have people coming and going, sometimes you're uploading and sometimes downloading. And when you've finished giving and taking what each other needs, you move on to the next one?
No, actually the reason why I'm writing this is that I had a friend who I used to be really close to. And then over a few disagreements we drifted apart. And then after getting tired of him I broke off contact with him (but also he hasn't really bothered contacting me, except for 1 time when he mentioned my name in a blog entry). But I didn't feel like I needed to talk to him. But still I've been reading that blog, which is kinda contradictory. Until he made it private. So I'm wondering whether I should get on that reader list.
There are always other things to be done, and I might as well do them first before going back to old relationships that I left for a reason.
Blogs also have expiry dates. I made a list of 4 things I really want to do this year and maintaining this blog is unfortunately not one of them.
But the point is that in one of these films the narrator begins by muttering darkly that every relationship has its expiry date, and once it is reached, it's best to part. It is a sentiment I remember being expressed in "Annie Hall" where Woody Allen says that a relationship is like a shark - being heavier than water, it has to keep on swimming or else it will sink.
I've seen relationships ended like this. Maybe relationships are like bit torrent, you have people coming and going, sometimes you're uploading and sometimes downloading. And when you've finished giving and taking what each other needs, you move on to the next one?
No, actually the reason why I'm writing this is that I had a friend who I used to be really close to. And then over a few disagreements we drifted apart. And then after getting tired of him I broke off contact with him (but also he hasn't really bothered contacting me, except for 1 time when he mentioned my name in a blog entry). But I didn't feel like I needed to talk to him. But still I've been reading that blog, which is kinda contradictory. Until he made it private. So I'm wondering whether I should get on that reader list.
There are always other things to be done, and I might as well do them first before going back to old relationships that I left for a reason.
Blogs also have expiry dates. I made a list of 4 things I really want to do this year and maintaining this blog is unfortunately not one of them.
Monday, 24 March 2008
Tip of the day
Some of you may be reaching that magical age of 30 where from then on life goes downhill all the way.
You would have changed your NRIC, and the clerk (probably Malay and wearing a tudung) over there would have given you back your old IC with a hole punched through it.
Don't throw that NRIC away. It will still work as a library card. So I can go to the library these days and use my supposedly invalidated NRIC to borrow books. I will keep my real NRIC at home where it is safe and nobody other than my maid can steal it.
You would have changed your NRIC, and the clerk (probably Malay and wearing a tudung) over there would have given you back your old IC with a hole punched through it.
Don't throw that NRIC away. It will still work as a library card. So I can go to the library these days and use my supposedly invalidated NRIC to borrow books. I will keep my real NRIC at home where it is safe and nobody other than my maid can steal it.
Thursday, 10 January 2008
Lyrics
A nice night out with the friends. Apparently they din know it was my bday but just as well we had something to celebrate. Well I am now as old as Franz Schubert was when he died. (I'm also 10 years older than Evariste Galois who managed to scribble all his algebra theories on a piece of paper before he died in a duel.) Had a great time.
And the great thing too about Facebook is that it tells the whole world about your birthday and you get ppl who you thought had long forgotten about you popping up to say hi. That's great too.
Now I had written a few melodies last year, no lyrics. Couldn't figure out what to do with them. Maybe I will in the end try my hand at writing the lyrics myself. It just so happened that I had had a few mugs of beer earlier that night and this time when I sat down to think about what to write it became a little clearer than before.
There was 1 song that I had previously decided was going to be about a guy breaking up and listing down the reasons why the relationship has to end. I came up with a few more lines, although I wonder if "You don't have to make it up to me / Tell your point of view of things to me / Just get out of my face before I count to three" sounds a little harsh.
There's another song, kind of frantic, and the only thing I've come across that made me really frantic was last minute studying. Guess it will be a "let's bitch about the education system" song. There are lots of syllables on each line so putting the words in should be fairly easy. "It's a little hard to see how learning all this stuff will help me get ahead in life / I got ninety marks and it's not good enough because the other guy has gotten ninety-five".
Another one, I decided, will be about a guy knowing he's about to fall in love and thinking out loud about his hopes and fears.
Another one was going to be loosely about a song about vampires, but I think I will put a slight variation on the main theme. Sometimes he's a vampire because when he's with people he makes them a bit more depressed. Other times he's a vampire because he's in an unhappy relationship and it's taking a toll on the girlfriend. Or he could be a sadistic army drill sergeant who whacks his trainees left right centre upside down but gets depressed because he's not enjoying it as much as he thinks he should.
Music can convey emotion, that's true. But words are something more tangible and solid than those abstract emotions. I think one of the hardest things is you get a piece of music and then taking that first step of imagining a situation that will suit the music. The other way around, where you have words first, and then the lyrics I haven't even tried, although apparently that was the way Burt Bacharach wrote "Alfie".
I read a tip about writing lyrics: especially pop music, you want them to sound like something that will come up in casual conversation. Not everybody subscribes to this of course. Some want their words to end up sounding like poetry, but I never did understand poetry, so I think I will say things very direct, in plain English. Because I won't be able to dress my words up in pretty language, I need to think of interesting content to put in there.
Now ppl who know stuff about Chinese culture (and a few who don't - like me) know that Li Bai is THE MAN. Like he can't write stuff when he's sober. Maybe other people are like him too. (Although they are not THE MAN.)
Random thought of the day: A very likely result of seeing the light for the first time is that you go blind.
And the great thing too about Facebook is that it tells the whole world about your birthday and you get ppl who you thought had long forgotten about you popping up to say hi. That's great too.
Now I had written a few melodies last year, no lyrics. Couldn't figure out what to do with them. Maybe I will in the end try my hand at writing the lyrics myself. It just so happened that I had had a few mugs of beer earlier that night and this time when I sat down to think about what to write it became a little clearer than before.
There was 1 song that I had previously decided was going to be about a guy breaking up and listing down the reasons why the relationship has to end. I came up with a few more lines, although I wonder if "You don't have to make it up to me / Tell your point of view of things to me / Just get out of my face before I count to three" sounds a little harsh.
There's another song, kind of frantic, and the only thing I've come across that made me really frantic was last minute studying. Guess it will be a "let's bitch about the education system" song. There are lots of syllables on each line so putting the words in should be fairly easy. "It's a little hard to see how learning all this stuff will help me get ahead in life / I got ninety marks and it's not good enough because the other guy has gotten ninety-five".
Another one, I decided, will be about a guy knowing he's about to fall in love and thinking out loud about his hopes and fears.
Another one was going to be loosely about a song about vampires, but I think I will put a slight variation on the main theme. Sometimes he's a vampire because when he's with people he makes them a bit more depressed. Other times he's a vampire because he's in an unhappy relationship and it's taking a toll on the girlfriend. Or he could be a sadistic army drill sergeant who whacks his trainees left right centre upside down but gets depressed because he's not enjoying it as much as he thinks he should.
Music can convey emotion, that's true. But words are something more tangible and solid than those abstract emotions. I think one of the hardest things is you get a piece of music and then taking that first step of imagining a situation that will suit the music. The other way around, where you have words first, and then the lyrics I haven't even tried, although apparently that was the way Burt Bacharach wrote "Alfie".
I read a tip about writing lyrics: especially pop music, you want them to sound like something that will come up in casual conversation. Not everybody subscribes to this of course. Some want their words to end up sounding like poetry, but I never did understand poetry, so I think I will say things very direct, in plain English. Because I won't be able to dress my words up in pretty language, I need to think of interesting content to put in there.
Now ppl who know stuff about Chinese culture (and a few who don't - like me) know that Li Bai is THE MAN. Like he can't write stuff when he's sober. Maybe other people are like him too. (Although they are not THE MAN.)
Random thought of the day: A very likely result of seeing the light for the first time is that you go blind.
Thursday, 14 June 2007
Revolution 9
I guess I thought I'd stop blogging. But just had to vent out at Alfian's sacking. I guess there will always be stuff to talk about. Plus I may need a new blog to publicise some new stuff.
Blogging's still not as fun as it used to be, so the posts here will be irregular. I want to start out on a clean slate. I don't expect to be blogging as much as I used to.
The title of my blog comes from the strangest song the Beatles ever recorded, the infamous "Revolution 9". You can find it on the White album, which explains why I picked this design for the backdrop.
Actually since I'm on this I might as well blog about "Revolution 9". Many people hate it, but for me it's one of the most intriguing Beatles songs of all. It's not even a song, but a sound collage, a scrapbook of various sound bits that John and Yoko pieced together.
In its own way it's a summary of the White Album, which is everything but the kitchen sink. A lot of people think that Sergeant Pepper is the quintessential Beatles album, although Revolver gets more critical acclaim. But for me it's the White Album, and also the official name is The Beatles. It's almost a career overview for the Beatles, everything they've ever done can be traced back to something on that album. It's also one of the most inconsistent Beatles album, I can actually name 10 songs that I don't like, but that's the spirit in which it was conceived.
And inside the album lies the secret to the appeal of the Beatles: they're everybody's band. That's because they've done everything, covered all bases. Blues*1? Check. Country*2? Check. Hard rock*3? Check. Psychedelia*4? Check. Folk*5? Check. Beach Boys*6? Check. Ballad*7? Check. Overblown late night radio*8? Check. Tin Pan Alley*9? Check.
To be sure, the albums that preceded and followed this, Sergeant Pepper and Abbey Road, both contained a great variety of music, but both had the discipline of being song cycles. The White Album is simply nothing but rojak, but what a glorious rojak.
1968, the year that the White Album came out, is the year of the revolution. All over the world, from Mexico City to Berkeley, Columbia U, Paris, Prague, Chicago, there were student riots. Nobody really knew what they were all about. Maybe they were raging against conformity? But it was electrifying, and nobody ever saw anything like that ever since, except maybe 1989 in Europe. The Beatles wrote "Revolution". The Rolling Stones wrote "Street Fighting Man".
But John and Yoko also produced "Revolution 9", which made a few reference to the riots. It was probably also the sound of a fractured mind, because there were parts that were positively schizophrenic. Some familiar snippets from old Beatles songs, like the orchestra crescendo from "A Day in the Life".
It also reminds me of "Mrs Dalloway", Virginia Woolf's stream of consciousness novel, which nevertheless uses the technique of having a signpost in the middle of all the chaos to reorientate the audience. The repeated refrain "number 9, number 9, number 9" serves the same purpose as Big Ben in the Woolf book. I think when you are putting together large unwieldy things discipline becomes very important.
It's no wonder that John Lennon said that he spent more time working on "Revolution 9" than any other Beatles work. I can see how, because a lot of thought has gone into it. This is one of the most hated Beatles songs of all because everybody expects something else from them, but for me it's very bold and daring, and a great piece of work because it could so easily have been an unlistenable mess. As it is, it has the logic, the utter compelling logic of a nightmare. It's noisy here, quiet there, but utterly unsettling. It's modern, probably ahead of its time although this recording technique probably borrows more than a few ideas from French avant garde music.
Is my blog going to be conceived in the same spirit? Like a rojak mishmash of plenty of ideas? I don't know. I will not be posting frequently enough for there to be a meaningful answer to that.
*1: "Yer Blues"
*2: "Rocky Racoon"
*3: "Helter Skelter"
*4: "Glass Onion"
*5: "Blackbird"
*6: "Back in the USSR"
*7: "While My Guitar Gently Weeps"
*8: "Good Night"
*9: "Honey Pie"
Blogging's still not as fun as it used to be, so the posts here will be irregular. I want to start out on a clean slate. I don't expect to be blogging as much as I used to.
The title of my blog comes from the strangest song the Beatles ever recorded, the infamous "Revolution 9". You can find it on the White album, which explains why I picked this design for the backdrop.
Actually since I'm on this I might as well blog about "Revolution 9". Many people hate it, but for me it's one of the most intriguing Beatles songs of all. It's not even a song, but a sound collage, a scrapbook of various sound bits that John and Yoko pieced together.
In its own way it's a summary of the White Album, which is everything but the kitchen sink. A lot of people think that Sergeant Pepper is the quintessential Beatles album, although Revolver gets more critical acclaim. But for me it's the White Album, and also the official name is The Beatles. It's almost a career overview for the Beatles, everything they've ever done can be traced back to something on that album. It's also one of the most inconsistent Beatles album, I can actually name 10 songs that I don't like, but that's the spirit in which it was conceived.
And inside the album lies the secret to the appeal of the Beatles: they're everybody's band. That's because they've done everything, covered all bases. Blues*1? Check. Country*2? Check. Hard rock*3? Check. Psychedelia*4? Check. Folk*5? Check. Beach Boys*6? Check. Ballad*7? Check. Overblown late night radio*8? Check. Tin Pan Alley*9? Check.
To be sure, the albums that preceded and followed this, Sergeant Pepper and Abbey Road, both contained a great variety of music, but both had the discipline of being song cycles. The White Album is simply nothing but rojak, but what a glorious rojak.
1968, the year that the White Album came out, is the year of the revolution. All over the world, from Mexico City to Berkeley, Columbia U, Paris, Prague, Chicago, there were student riots. Nobody really knew what they were all about. Maybe they were raging against conformity? But it was electrifying, and nobody ever saw anything like that ever since, except maybe 1989 in Europe. The Beatles wrote "Revolution". The Rolling Stones wrote "Street Fighting Man".
But John and Yoko also produced "Revolution 9", which made a few reference to the riots. It was probably also the sound of a fractured mind, because there were parts that were positively schizophrenic. Some familiar snippets from old Beatles songs, like the orchestra crescendo from "A Day in the Life".
It also reminds me of "Mrs Dalloway", Virginia Woolf's stream of consciousness novel, which nevertheless uses the technique of having a signpost in the middle of all the chaos to reorientate the audience. The repeated refrain "number 9, number 9, number 9" serves the same purpose as Big Ben in the Woolf book. I think when you are putting together large unwieldy things discipline becomes very important.
It's no wonder that John Lennon said that he spent more time working on "Revolution 9" than any other Beatles work. I can see how, because a lot of thought has gone into it. This is one of the most hated Beatles songs of all because everybody expects something else from them, but for me it's very bold and daring, and a great piece of work because it could so easily have been an unlistenable mess. As it is, it has the logic, the utter compelling logic of a nightmare. It's noisy here, quiet there, but utterly unsettling. It's modern, probably ahead of its time although this recording technique probably borrows more than a few ideas from French avant garde music.
Is my blog going to be conceived in the same spirit? Like a rojak mishmash of plenty of ideas? I don't know. I will not be posting frequently enough for there to be a meaningful answer to that.
*1: "Yer Blues"
*2: "Rocky Racoon"
*3: "Helter Skelter"
*4: "Glass Onion"
*5: "Blackbird"
*6: "Back in the USSR"
*7: "While My Guitar Gently Weeps"
*8: "Good Night"
*9: "Honey Pie"
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